I tried to fix it

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 09/03/2020 at 19:20 • Filed to: shoop

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For reference, the s econd pic is the travesty that FCA managed to cook up.

facw > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 19:31

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I thought the front was the best part...

Nauraushaun > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 19:36

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Is that gold colored?

Nauraushaun > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 19:36

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Is that gold colored?

Nauraushaun > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 19:36

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Is that gold colored?

Nauraushaun > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 19:36

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Is that gold colored?

Nauraushaun > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 19:36

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Is that gold colored?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > facw 09/03/2020 at 19:37

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Doesn’t mean it didn’t need fixing too

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Nauraushaun 09/03/2020 at 19:39

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To save some time, I’m only going to reply to one of the five times your comment has appeared: I don’t think so, it’s probably more of a light copper or pewter and the lighting in the photo is coloring it.

Jim Spanfeller > facw 09/03/2020 at 19:39

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The front may have been the best part, but it was still bad. EssExTee made it at least proportional, but it’s still not great. The whole car is bad and Jeep should feel bad.

Nibby > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 19:40

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Is that gold colored?

boredalways > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 19:42

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?colored gold that Is

Nauraushaun > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 19:44

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Lol, oh my god. I’m so sorry. Nice lifehack not replying to them all.

Ah but it’s not silvery. That is unusual

SiennaMan > Jim Spanfeller 09/03/2020 at 19:47

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This was broadly what I was thinking. EssExTee’s changes are an improvement, but it still isn’t quite there..

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 19:50

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Yours is better without going “big dick giant grille” 

PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 19:52

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This is better indeed, now please fix the rest of this abomination!

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 19:53

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Now it has BMW X7 Big Grill Syndrome...

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 09/03/2020 at 19:54

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I actually like the rest of it, although I’m disappointed they didn’t incorporate more cues from the original Grand Wagoneer. FCA should’ve mashed the RETRO button hard on this one and they didn’t.

Brickman > Nauraushaun 09/03/2020 at 19:55

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I’m seeing black and blue

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t 09/03/2020 at 19:55

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You try covering 90 acres of frontal area without it looking fussy.

Duck Duck Grey Duck FTMFW! > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 20:01

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I hate yours a lot less.

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 20:01

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BGS is a symptom of pedestrian safety standards combined with This Car Is Too Damn Big [TCi TDB]. It’ s not your fault, but I think it actually can stand to have painted metal between the headlights and grill... I an too drunk and don’t have good image manipula t ion software installed on this machine to do it myself. Maybe I’ll try...

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Duck Duck Grey Duck FTMFW! 09/03/2020 at 20:06

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That’s the nicest thing any one’s ever said to me 

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 20:08

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It still looks like the Gresely from GTAV in all the worst ways.

I actually don’t hate it as the new (haha) Toyota Sequoia but it is unbefitting of the Wagoneer name.

PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 20:17

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The back is a mess IMO and the sides are just blah, not that it’s easy to spruce up the side of a big ass SUV.

19JRC99 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 20:17

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A noble effort but it’ll take a lot more than that to fix this monstrosity. 

subexpression > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 20:17

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Needs to retain the front recovery hooks, at least for some trim levels. Also needs a convenient place to put an adaptive cruise control eye .

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 20:21

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I tried drunk Paint.net

here is results:

not good image manipulation, but I think it looks mpre “JEEP” this way.

Cash Rewards > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 20:21

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I don't love yours, and it's made me realize how bad the actual one is. Damnit.

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 09/03/2020 at 20:28

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T hey should have left the A pillar body color and floated the B- C- D with black... I know it’s cliche, but that’s because it’s a look that doesn’t suck, unlike this.

Urambo Tauro > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 20:51

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I dig it! Here’s my (sloppy ) attempt

Hey it works for the Silverado!

PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 > JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t 09/03/2020 at 21:02

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I couldn't put my finger on it but you're totally right! The B,C, and D pillars need to be blacked out.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Urambo Tauro 09/03/2020 at 21:08

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I already fixed the new Silverado

Urambo Tauro > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 21:16

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It’s an improvement !

ranwhenparked > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/03/2020 at 21:46

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Especially since FCA (and their predecessors) have already demonstrated that they are perfectly fine with going retro when it comes to Jeep - the Patriot was styled after the XJ Cherokee, and the Commander already  borrowed cues from both the XJ and SJ. Basically, they’ve established that they know how to do it, they just didn’t this time.